Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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