Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
