D3 body, D1 cock
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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