why didn't you poke me back
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How's work?
Spinning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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