I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
