just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
