is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
