whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
