I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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