Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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