So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
