We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
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