that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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