Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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