you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
