If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
