drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
