There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You're like the curious george of whores
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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