So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
