normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
