At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
