I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
