I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
