Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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