Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
