some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
