I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
