Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
