Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize