He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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