sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
