What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
