Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
