I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
