So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
