His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
