So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
