you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
