so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Buhtt sex?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We need to get me chipped asap
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
