girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
