Your dad touched me again.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
