I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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