dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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