i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My vagina is very pro this idea
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
