So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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