it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
