I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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