They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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