you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
