You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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