Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize