Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize