I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
