i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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