i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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