Betty ford says i'm here all night
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
